Friday, April 3, 2009

What is it I'm looking for?

This Tuesday the awesome J. and I went to the Down Low in Berkeley for karaoke. After nervously downing a beer as I waited through song after song for my turn, I thought I'd make a quick trip to the ladies room and was, shall we say, in a seated position when I heard my name called. I rushed out as quickly as current circumstances allowed, back to my table with everyone shouting, "Where are you going?" To fetch my glasses, unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to read the monitor without them. And with the music starting I had to start singing the moment I hit the stage. But I managed to belt out my signature song, Daydream Believer, to my and, so they said, everyone else's satisfaction nonetheless.

Tonight I've been left to my own devices. And it's a little ridiculous how anxious I've been about it. What's a single woman on her own to do on a Friday night? Minx where Mr Party (all the time) and his cronies are gathering? My future husband or a new awesome friend might also be there. But I'm not really in the mood for places I have to shout to be heard. Then again neither am I in the mood for staying at home. What am I in the mood for? I've been dealing with resumes, cover letters, portfolios, Disney, Pixar, Lucas, not to mention Emerging Blue (where are you?) all week so I'm feeling....uncertain, anxious, hopeful, confident, scared. I'm feeling vulnerable and acutely sensitive. The Lucasfilm job site, by the way, says I'm a 54 % match for a story artist. How do I increase that number? Get hired by Pixar or Disney? Oh, feeling a tad cynical too. No, Minx is not for me tonight. And scouting the internet for alternatives I found the Friday night series at the De Young, beat poetry and jazz with Michael McClure and the Wayne Wallace Quintet. That's what I've been craving. Artistic nourishment. Artistic comfort food. Poetry, music and my long neglected sketchbook in an art museum...on my own. Then, if I'm feeling brave, The Cellar for 80's night...on my own....

Will report how it goes later...


  1. I am often jealous of my single BF, this weekend she is doing a trail run, going to a concert and hanging out in her pj's reading the paper. Me, I will be driving the boys to a couple of bday parties, hosting a BBQ in honour of our own puppy's big day and getting up early to hit the slopes one last time. I love my life but there are times when I think, what if ... Can't wait to hear what you did.

  2. So, did you feel brave?

    What a fantastic way to spend the night (the De Young), I mean. I have never been to anything like that.

  3. Artistic nourishment. It's just the thing. I think anyone who can sing in front of people is very brave. I am not so brave.

  4. Go on then - get out there on your own. It would be great blog fodder, especially on 80s night

  5. Well done, Cheryl, for having the confidence to take to the stage and sing! Good for you.

    As for artistic nourishment, I can so relate to this need. I have constant cravings! :)

    Do you have many arts cafes in your area? I think every place should have art cafes open day and night. I think they'd be really popular.

    I hope the anxiety quickly transforms into bright, positive feelings.

  6. Sounds like a good night to me! :)

  7. Cid - My sister often tells me the same thing. And I look at her life, 5 adorable kids, a husband, a big house and the chance to live in other countries every few years, and I think she's crazy. Course, when I stay with her for any extended period I can see what she means...

    Michelle - um...well, no...I did go to the De Young though which was indeed fantastic.

    Purest green - Thanks!

    French Fancy - ooo! if only...But I will go to a goth club Tuesday - for swing dancing!

    Carol Anne - Thanks! As for the arts cafes, cafes here generally do have a lot of local art in them. But a gallery like the Wolfhouse Gallery I haven't seen. Hopefully they do in fact exist around here and are waiting to be discovered because they would be an awesome place to go to.

    Rachel - It was actually, even if I didn't do all I'd hoped to do.


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