Dear Universe,

I want this, please...

Or better.

Thanks,

Cheryl

A whole lotta...

I wish this was an anonymous blog. I had a rather interesting V-day weekend. I love when life surprises me (in a good way), when I look in the mirror and like what I see, when I jump in rather than play it safe. Could have gone the other way. V-day weekend could have been a mine field. But focusing on creative work has more or less kept me grounded. And, the other day while riding the train, when I was starting to think sad thoughts about myself, I looked up and saw this man whose face expressed so much sadness. I wanted to put my arm around him like an angel from Wings Of Desire. And with that, the urge to comfort rather than to wallow, the deceiving fog of self pity lifted and I knew everything would be alright. Then life throws a curve ball at me again. Or is it? I don't know yet. Life is inexplicable, scary, awesome, frustrating, a lot of fun, I don't want to miss a minute of it...and...I trust that life is leading me in the right direction, no matter what happens...

So, I stopped by my alma mater recently to see the Graduate Fine Art Photography exhibit. I love fine art photography and I saw there some really promising artists...

Dickhead, so to speak...
Hee, hee...

The models...

Nipplehead...
Ivan Feerman...

I love this series. It feels a lot like my goth true self/projected image project. So it's a bit disconcerting to see someone else do the same thing. But really interesting to see their take on it as well.

So, after those fine works, some of my own. I call it...Saturday, SF Waterfront...yeah...If only the guy in the white hoodie had been wearing red...
I gave this hard working guy a dollar...
one for this kid too...
but not this guy...

Loved his sign though. Who has spare weed just ready to hand out, I ask you? Well, in SF, a lot of people I guess...

Cheryl's choice

This dream of a doll house (which I photographed last year while visiting the Smithsonian Museum of American History with my sister) has always struck a cord with me. It feels like...my head, my world =

Except mine is more complicated, messier, books and clothes strewn about everywhere, with rooms that really need a good dusting (odd term, that. Undusting sounds far more accurate), and rooms that are half finished and rooms yet to be built. Not to mention big picture windows, a yard with paths leading to the outside world, etc. To take one of those paths means setting aside work for awhile which is hard for me to do sometimes. I have to close the door to distraction in order to get the work done. But too many days like this makes me restless. Which is probably why I'm feeling the urge for a long walk in the sunshine this weekend. Hiking weekend, yay!

Here are a few things I've been working on...

I've never designed specifically for a graphic novel before and finding inspiration through artists like Chris Appalhans, Scottie Young (he has a pretty funny podcast, too), Dice Tsutsumi, Peter deSeve, etc. has been a lot of fun. Every unique style communicates with a different sounding vocabulary and I've been struggling to find the right (and my very own) vocabulary for the first story I'm working on. So I've been doing some experimenting, and these sketches show the direction I'm about eighty percent sure I want to go in...

Then again, I might save it for the next story. And for this one go back to this style...

which I really like. It feels dreamier somehow, while the former feels more comical. But the latter takes about twice as long to do.

Oh well, choices, choices, I'll figure it out eventually.

Have a great weekend, folks!

The film I wish I'd made in art school...

Another quiet, productive week. I don't know...you finish a painting, you like it, you feel a sense of accomplishment and relief...then the art critic starts up again asking me is this really the best possible way I could have approached this thing? So I went to the Stanford Art Museum this weekend (a small, two hour kind of museum with a decent number of works by artists like Whistler...

Degas, Picasso, Kandinsky, O'Keefe, etc.) both to get out of the house and to look at what others have done. Like these for instance...

They have a wonderful disregard for accuracy and beauty. Not that I like them all that much.

An interesting approach to the family portrait. How would I portray mine? My dad would probably be a crab or some other unpleasant creature you don't want to get too close to. My mother would be a bird or a cat, something that's either loving or dangerous depending on her mood. My sister...a dog, or something like no-nonsense Mr Rat from The Wind In the Willows. My brother...maybe a fox or a slippery fish. Nothing is ever on the surface with him. You have to keep asking, brushing things aside, extending an open hand and...never mind. Creative drama is the only drama I want to deal with these days. What would your family portrait look like?

On a (slightly) different note the dead mice are still underneath the stairs. Cat did not snack on them after all. And the underpaid gardener, who I assumed would sweep them away as part of her job, didn't. So I get to observe the process of death whenever I walk by that way. Still gruesome yet fascinating.

On yet another note, for those of you who aren't into examining art or dead creatures and might need a laugh today...

Love this video. Almost makes me want to get back into animation.

How headless mice and bad sex liven up a quiet week

My neighbor's cat, a sweet, well fed little beast, killed two mice the other day and left their bodies to rot underneath the outside stairs, the one I have to use if I want to leave the house. They're just lying there, their tiny little heads riped clean off and lying next to their fat, lifeless bodies. Gruesome...Yet fascinating....So of course I took a closer look. And noticed that the cat had ripped off their heads by the jaw so that their tiny lower teeth were protruding from...

Oh, never mind. Why am I going on about dead mice? Because it's the most exciting thing to happen all week besides this awful sex dream I had. I mean the sex (with this bald guy I was not at all attracted to, why couldn't it have been a lucid dream?) was awful. And the one I was really interested in (in this dream) got discouraged because he thought I was with the bald guy. And, as if the universe was teasing me, I kept running into bald guys everywhere I went that day! I know there's a fair amount of them in this town, but to run into so many of them in the space of a few hours?!!!

Anyway, it has been a productive week though. I bought a subscription to Lynda.com to brush up on my 3D skills. (Maya 2010 is extremely daunting, by the way. Best not to think about the thousands of tricks and commands I have yet to learn.) I also made good progress on some writing and painting. And Sunday, I joined my painting group to paint in the lovely Marin countryside...

My little oil (3rd one from right, bottom row) was a good start but since the idea was to finish a painting in three hours or less (one guy finished two!)...well, I really need to practice my speed painting skills.

Watercolor. Three hours. Amazing. Wish it was mine.

Afterwards, some browsing (and shopping and eating) in the extremely cute little town of Mill Valley. I'm guessing this is a wine shop...

I love Benefit products...

and pretty lamps and paper...
And the porcelain tea set. And the impractical but v. pretty tree full of hearts...

Wish I'd gotten the Tiger Woods candle now.

Would've made me laugh every time I lit it.

When I got home Sunday night the mouse bodies had not, evidently, rested in peace. Eeeuw. Hope I find nothing but mouse bones next time.