Thursday, March 3, 2011

Flying solo

I'm off to Buenos Aires today for the next three weeks. (Not looking forward to the flight, I have to say. I leave here at one pm and don't get to BA til the next day.) The last time I traveled outside of the country was back in 05, to Beijing, and I've been yearning for another international adventure ever since. But of course with the economy and my iffy work situation I've learned to play it safe.

Then my mother tells me my sister is coming back for a two week visit. And I start to panic. I won't go into details so let's just say I'm not eager for even a two week replay of my sister's visit this past fall.

So I start looking for travel deals. Where to go? I've always wanted to spend a month in Rome. Or the Italian countryside. Or Paris! And the French countryside. Where could I spend as much time painting and playing the tourist that my budget would allow? After looking at nearly every possibility, then thinking how much more comfortable I'd be just staying home...if only countdown to sister wasn't happening, then looking again, and realizing, with deep and utter frustration just how indecisive I can be. Anyway, long story short, I end up choosing Buenos Aires, the Paris of the south.

And, funny thing, as soon as I did, I stopped being mad at my sister. We will probably never be close again, but, so what? Moving on...

The thing with my family is that everyone thinks they know what's best for me, and they will get me to do whatever it is if it's the last thing they ever do. Because they care so much about me. And it's this!---this emotional manipulation I get from them that exhausts and enrages me so much. I hate them. I love them. I want to run away from them.

Unfortunately, since I'll be gone for three weeks there was no way to not tell my mother that I'll be gone. And she did not take it well. Oh. My. God. Why did I choose Buenos Aires? Don't I know how dangerous it is? And you're so small. Now I'll have to pray for you all the time. And I won't sleep a single second until you get back. Blah, blah, blah, so on and so forth.

But anywhere can be dangerous if you don't practice precautions. In London, where I was staying with family, I fell prey to one of those stupid ATM scams. Luckily that particular card was tapped out. Moreover, the worst thing that ever happened to me, getting attacked and nearly raped on my way home very late one night, happened right here in San Francisco. I still walk around there. Though, never in that neighborhood.

Still, her fear got to me. I felt guilty for causing her so much worry. I second guessed my choices. And I went overboard on the research.

But, the more I found out about Buenos Aires, the more excited I became about actually going there. It is scary to go to a new place all by yourself. I don't speak the language. I don't know the customs. And I especially don't know about eating dinner at bedtime and dancing when I'm usually asleep. But I'm going anyway. I feel good about that. And, at least through the wonders of the internet, I know three or four people there, so to cyberspeak. And the apartment I've rented (super cheap!) will have wi-fi so I can assure my mother I am still alive at least once a day. (And post here and on FB too! Though maybe not every day.)

My mother didn't give up though. She came by my place tonight to warn me of thieves who break into rooms. Then she texted me some other warning when she got home. Then she called, just to make sure I'd gotten that last warning and to tell me yet another one. By then I was pretty ticked off and cut the conversation short with only the slightest twinge of guilt afterwards.

Sigh...I don't know what'll happen down there but I trust that I can handle it and I trust that I've made the right decision to go.

Okay, gotta finish packing. Hello Buenos Aires!!!!!!


  1. Ugh, family. That's why I live 1300 miles from mine!

    Have a safe flight and a wonderful time in Buenos Aires! It'll be an amazing adventure. Can't want to see the art you produce as a result!

  2. I am so sorry that your family couldn't delight and celebrate in your upcoming adventures. I can. And I will. And I am so thrilled that you are giving yourself this time. Try to give your mom's fear back to her, it is hers and you don't have to carry it. My last piece of unsolicited advice(;-), have a fantastic time. Adios! xoxo

  3. Have the best of times in Buenos Aires... Dance, drink, draw and be merry!
    Oh, and go take a look at the clothes and shoes there!! Tons of very interesting young designers!!
    lots of love!! XXX


    and you will have a great trip!

    and now to be a tiny bit like your mom, be careful. BUT HAVE A BLAST!!!! :)

  5. you will be FINE. and you'll have a WONDERFUL time. don't sweat it. you're intelligent and savvy. have a blast!

  6. Awaiting some news here, I know from FB that you have safely arrived and seem to enjoy a lot. (Of course I would have preferred that you had decided for Paris. Next time!) :-)

  7. You're amazing, did you know that??? I haven't read such an interesting blog and seen such great art in a long time and I'm a blog cruiser. Hope you have a great trip.

  8. You're going to have a great time! And no matter how you might feel sometimes, I think you have it all together. Come back with tons of adventures to share with us.

  9. Time to report on Buenos Aires on your blog, not only on FB! :-)

  10. are you back yet? did you have the time of your life??? i hope you had a blast!

  11. Are you back yet? I can't wait to hear all about it! I bet you had wonderful adventures!


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